


stupid, charming men

by stardustandswimmingpools



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Family Feels, Female Friendship, Found Family, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Post-Canon, hesitant relationships, immediately follows canon events, like. exactly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 21:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11045166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustandswimmingpools/pseuds/stardustandswimmingpools
Summary: When Trina watches Whizzer die, she watches Marvin die with him.When Whizzer disappears behind the curtain, her heart aches, and she can't stand it. More than anything she wishes she could just hate Whizzer. And she wants to hate Marvin for loving Whizzer. But…One by one, she watches everyone break.-Character study-type-thing on Trina immediately following Whizzer's death.





	stupid, charming men

**Author's Note:**

> may make a series out of this. precedes [The Things I've Never Had](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10913742) \- that is, same character interpretations. let's hear it for female friendship, am i right??  
> anyway, here is trina reacting to whizzer dying. tw for canon death obviously. and crying. and angst. you know.  
> enjoy!  
> title from trina's song.

When Trina watches Whizzer die, she watches Marvin die with him.

When Whizzer disappears behind the curtain, her heart aches, and she can't stand it. More than anything she wishes she could just hate Whizzer. And she wants to hate Marvin for loving Whizzer. But…

One by one, she watches everyone break.

Marvin’s face turns stony, and his hand drops from Jason’s shoulder, where it just hangs by his side, as if he can't figure out what to do with it. He doesn't appear to be breathing.

There's nothing she can do.

Jason’s chanting falters and falls flat and the room is filled with powerful silence as he loses all life. Trina reaches out and rests a hand on his other shoulder, and he stiffens, so she pulls it away. It's like the opposite reaction to crying. At first glance, Marvin and Jason react the same way, but more than that, they take it like they take most things. Marvin freezes, almost stoic. Jason retracts into himself. He doesn't move except to curl his shoulders over, but that's all it takes.

Trina’s heart breaks.

Cordelia reaches for her hand and laces their fingers together, and it's grounding, but not enough —

How dare he.

How dare Whizzer, homewrecker, asshole, arrogant prick, how _dare_ he break Trina’s heart.

How dare he break Jason’s heart. How dare he break Marvin’s heart. How dare he matter so much.

Trina has no right nor reason to cry, but she folds into Mendel’s arm wrapped around her shoulder and blinks back tears.

“Jason,” Mendel says gently. “I think we should go.”

Jason looks up mechanically. The life has drained from his eyes, and Trina hates Whizzer now, for ruining their child. He's only twelve. He's a boy becoming a man and he was so full of life and youth and now — and now —

And he loved Whizzer.

Trina sniffles and wipes her eyes and looks at Marvin, who hasn't moved. “Mendel, Jason, I'll meet you at the car. Go.”

Jason looks directly into Trina’s eyes and then briskly leaves, shoving the Tallis off his shoulders as he goes. It falls to the floor of the room in a pile. Trina doesn't look and Cordelia picks it up and drapes it over her forearm, brushing it off rhythmically. She hangs it on a hook on the door.

Mendel squeezes her shoulders once before he leaves, too, taking the Tallis with him. The door closes and it's much too loud.

Trina detaches her fingers from Cordelia’s and carefully approaches Marvin. “Marvin,” she begins, prepared to apologize, prepared to hug him or hold his hand or anything.

He looks at her. “Don't, Trina.”

She can hear in his voice how close he is to shattering. So she takes a breath and says, “If you need anything…you know where to find us.”

Marvin looks like he's having trouble taking in air. He swallows. “Okay.”

“Me too.” Cordelia’s been uncharacteristically reserved, but she pipes up now with quiet certainty. “We’re just a few doors down, Marvin.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Marvin’s voice cracks, and he looks down immediately, pressing a hand to his face.

Trina looks at Cordelia, a woman who hardly knows the meaning of a frown, somber and still for the first time since Trina’s known her. With a sigh, Trina wraps a hand around Marvin’s arm and gently pulls him towards the door, to no resistance.

Cordelia holds the door open and follows them out.

It clangs shut, and Marvin immediately collapses into Trina, his whole body shaking uncontrollably in her arms.

They've had their fun and they've had their fights. None of it matters now. Trina will hold Marvin, damn it, and let him cry until he can't cry anymore.

Cordelia rubs his back and Trina sort of strokes his hair and it's like she can feel him come undone. It occurs to her that she's never once seen Marvin break down like this. Certainly he's seen her fall apart too many times to think about, but Marvin never cried when they were married. He’d yell and throw things and storm out and swear, but never cry.

Trina doesn't think about how if she’d died during their marriage he wouldn't have cried. She lets him sob uninhibited into her shoulder, weak but somehow holding her with an iron grip. She could be anyone. He’d cry on Charlotte or Mendel or any passing doctor. But Trina doesn't even whisper reassurance because there _is_ no reassurance, just returns the tight hug, feels Cordelia’s hand pass over hers, either accidental or comforting.

After too long Marvin’s body stops trembling and Trina carefully pulls away, hands on both of his shoulders. “You should go home.”

Marvin looks over at the door to the hospital room and his face crumples again as if instinctive, the pain etched across his features clear as day. He wipes at his face. “Yeah,” he croaks. “I know.”

He doesn't say thank you, and Trina doesn't say anything. Marvin turns around to Cordelia. “Thanks for the food.”

Cordelia’s face melts into sympathy. “Of course.”

Marvin lifts a hand in farewell, looks once more at the hospital room door, and squeezes his eyes shut as he turns round and goes.

Cordelia looks at Trina.

“We knew from the start he was going to die,” Trina says helplessly, “but still — it's still shitty.”

“I know.” Cordelia bridges the gap between them and puts a hand over Trina’s. “We have to be there for everyone. That's all we can do.” She, too, looks at the door. Trina had nearly forgotten about Charlotte.

“Jesus,” she says, and rubs her face with her hand. “I have to go. Will you be okay?”

Cordelia sighs. “I have to. My girlfriend is in there watching our friend die. Talk about the short end of the stick.”

Trina squeezes Cordelia’s hand. “I'm sorry.”

Cordelia, Trina later determines, is a superhuman. She smiles as if holding the weight of the world and pulls Trina into a hug. “You can be sad too, Trina.”

Trina closes her eyes and rests her chin on Cordelia’s shoulder. “I can't. I don't get to be sad. I hated him. I wanted to hate him.”

Cordelia caresses her hair. “You can still be sad. For Marvin. For Jason.”

“Jason,” Trina exhales. “Oh, God. How am — how can I — what am I going to do about — he’s going to be so broken up. Cordelia, why do good men die?”

She presses her face to Cordelia’s shoulder and tries to will the tears away.

Cordelia doesn't respond.

Trina pulls away, fixing her hair brusquely. “My family is waiting for me.”

“Go,” Cordelia coaxes. “You need each other. Everything will be alright.”

Trina laughs wetly. “Oh, I stopped believing that a long time ago.”

She nods at Cordelia, who’s hiding distress under kind eyes, and then turns and walks out the way Marvin went.

On the staircase, Trina notices she's the only person on the stairs, and the tears leak out of their own accord. And there is absolutely no reason to cry, but everything stings and hurts and of all men to die, Whizzer?

The railing is warm under her palm. She follows it down to the lobby, and wipes her tears with the back of her hand as she checks out.

A final deep breath and she pushes open the door and walks to her car.

Mendel is standing outside the passenger side. All of the doors are closed, and he crosses to meet her.

“Hey,” he says, automatically encircling her waist with his arm. “Everyone okay?”

Trina looks at him. “Whizzer is dead,” she says. “About as okay as you’d expect.”

“Are you okay?”

Trina can't help but compare her previous marriage to her current one at every turn. Marvin wouldn't have asked. Marvin wouldn't have checked to see if she was doing fine.

“I'll be okay,” she says, with a smile plastered on. “Jason?”

Mendel shakes his head. “Hasn't said a word.”

“He’ll come through,” Trina says, with greater optimism than she feels.

“I hope so,” Mendel responds, with the hopelessness of a man who knows better than to hope.

Trina takes a deep breath. “Let's go home.”

Mendel kisses her forehead. “Home.”

And maybe one day it will be alright, but for now there's Mendel. There's Cordelia who smiles, and Marvin who breaks, and Jason who doesn't speak, and Charlotte who got the short end of the stick, and Mendel who asks if she's okay.

It will have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! sorry not sorry for the angst, but on the bright side, i'm getting better at writing angst. you can find me on tumblr @vivilevone or @do-you-ever-really-crash. thank you!


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